From Warrior to Love: Philip Ayles’ Advice for Dads
May 29, 2025
As a dad, you’re navigating a battlefield of chaos—getting kids to school, balancing work, and trying to be a rock for your family. In my latest podcast episode, I sat down with Philip Ayles, a combat veteran, founder of Ayles Solutions LLC in Jacksonville, Florida, and a dad of three daughters. Philip’s 24 years in the U.S. Army, from Ground Zero to Iraq, shaped him into a warrior, but his journey to fatherhood taught him to lead with love. Through his work supporting veterans and first responders, Philip offers hard-earned wisdom for dads looking to level up in 2025. Here’s his story, his service, and seven actionable steps to become a better dad, husband, and man.
A Hero’s Journey: Honoring Philip’s Service
Philip Ayles joined the Army National Guard at 17, seeking discipline and purpose in a tough Dayton, Ohio neighborhood. Over 24 years, he served in the Military Police, Civil Affairs, and Intelligence, earning top-secret clearance and living history. He deployed to Ground Zero after 9/11, provided security at the Pentagon, and sat in Saddam Hussein’s chair in Iraq’s multinational forces headquarters. “I was blessed with being born in the United States,” Philip says, reflecting on his global experiences in Korea, Africa, and beyond.
His service wasn’t just about combat—it was about leadership. Philip thrived in chaos, keeping troops alive and upholding standards. He met congressmen, worked with law enforcement, and saw the power of a U.S. citizen’s voice. Retiring in 2013, he carried these lessons into civilian life, founding Ayles Solutions LLC to guide veterans and first responders through their transitions. His story is one of sacrifice, resilience, and a commitment to serving others, making him a true American hero.
The Challenge of Transition: From Warrior to Dad
Coming home from Iraq, Philip faced a new battle: fatherhood. His warrior mindset—decisive, action-oriented, and comfortable in chaos—clashed with civilian life. With three daughters, including twins, he struggled to communicate. “I didn’t know how to talk to them,” he admits. When they refused to clean their rooms, he’d bark orders like a soldier, only to hear, “We’re not one of your troops!” His daughters lived in a different world, untouched by his trauma and experiences.
Philip’s first marriage crumbled under the weight of this disconnect. He repressed PTSD and ADHD, building walls to cope with combat stress, but these barriers isolated him from his family. “I was gone a lot,” he says, realizing his vision for the household disrupted his wife and daughters’ rhythm. His anger, triggered by a lack of control, pushed them further away. It took years—and a second marriage—for Philip to see he was the problem, not his kids.
From Warrior to Love: A Transformational Shift
Philip’s turning point came through equine therapy, where he confronted a painful truth: “I loved everybody but myself.” Despite his achievements, he never felt good enough, driving him to people-please at his own expense. Therapy, combined with his second wife’s guidance, taught him self-love. “She taught me how to love,” he says, moving from a mindset of fornication to one of genuine care for himself and others.
This “warrior to love” mindset became Philip’s cornerstone. He stopped fighting himself and learned to say no to demands that didn’t align with his long-term goals. Instead of imposing his warrior mentality on his family, he sought common ground, listening to his daughters’ perspectives. This shift transformed his relationships, making him a stronger dad and husband. It also fueled his mission at Ayles Solutions, where he helps veterans and first responders navigate trauma and civilian life with emotional intelligence.
Seven Actionable Steps for Dads
Philip’s journey offers practical guidance for dads. Here are seven steps to level up in 2025, drawn from his insights, with examples to make them real:
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Check Your Anger
Anger often stems from feeling out of control, as Philip learned when yelling at his daughters backfired. “Every time I got angry, I lost,” he says. Action: When you feel rage building (e.g., your kid ignores your request), pause, take five deep breaths, and ask yourself, “Why am I angry?” Respond calmly to model self-control. -
Communicate Without Judgment
Philip realized his daughters didn’t understand his warrior-driven orders because he didn’t accept their perspectives. Action: Next time your kid pushes back, listen without interrupting and say, “Tell me how you see this.” Acknowledge their view before sharing yours to build trust. -
Apply Military Leadership
Philip’s ability to stay calm in combat chaos didn’t initially translate to home. He learned to use structure thoughtfully. Action: Create a simple morning routine (e.g., 7 AM breakfast, 7:30 AM school prep) but involve your kids in planning it to avoid resistance. Stay composed when chaos hits. -
Love Yourself First
Equine therapy showed Philip he needed self-love to stop people-pleasing. “If you don’t love yourself, you’ll make yourself miserable,” he says. Action: Write down three things you’re proud of about yourself weekly (e.g., “I worked hard today”). Say no to one non-essential task that drains you. -
Be the Trusted Source
Philip wants to be the first person his daughters turn to for guidance. Action: Spend 10 minutes daily with each child, asking open-ended questions like, “What’s the best part of your day?” Be fully present—no phone—to show they can trust you. -
Stay Curious
Philip’s diamond advice—be curious and always learning—kept him growing. Action: Read one parenting article or listen to a podcast episode (like Philip’s Warrior to Love) weekly. Discuss a new idea with your kids, like problem-solving a family issue, to model learning. -
Find Common Ground
Philip’s podcast episode “he says, she heard” taught him that spouses and kids often say the same thing differently. Action: In a disagreement with your spouse, summarize their point (e.g., “You’re saying you feel overwhelmed, right?”) to find shared goals before solving the issue.
Raising Strong Daughters
Raising three daughters, Philip focused on self-sufficiency. “I taught them to be independent, where you don’t need anybody else, but it’s nice to have,” he says. He struggled initially, treating them like soldiers, but learned to see their world—school, friends, emotions—through their eyes. By admitting his mistakes and communicating openly, he built stronger bonds. His advice: don’t coddle kids. Let them fall and learn, as broken bones teach resilience better than screens breed anxiety. For dads of daughters, Philip’s story shows the power of listening and modeling independence.
Philip’s Mission and How to Connect
Through Ayles Solutions LLC, Philip bridges the communication gap for veterans and first responders, promoting self-awareness and emotional intelligence. His coaching philosophy, “Everything starts with YOU!” helps clients overcome trauma and thrive. He also officiates weddings, celebrating love’s energy, and co-hosts the Warrior to Love podcast with his wife, exploring communication and connection. Find him at aylessolutions.com, on LinkedIn, or by searching “Philip Ayles.” His book recommendations, like Relentless Courage by Michael Sugrue, offer further insights for first responders.
Conclusion: Be Curious, Lead with Love
Philip Ayles’ journey from combat to fatherhood is a testament to resilience and growth. His service to our country—24 years of keeping troops alive and securing our nation—deserves our gratitude. But his greatest lesson is for dads: lead with love, not control. By checking your anger, listening without judgment, and staying curious, you can build a legacy of trust with your kids. As Philip says, “Be curious and always learning.” Start today—hug your kids, learn their world, and love yourself first. What step will you take to be a better dad in 2025?
Learn More about Philip HERE: https://www.aylessolutions.com/
Watch the full Interview Here!👇🏻👇🏻