How to Be a Warrior Dad: Insights and Actionable Steps from Jeff Wickersham
May 22, 2025
As a dad, you’re juggling work, family, and the pressure to be a role model, all while time slips away faster than you’d like. In a recent podcast episode, I had the privilege of sitting down with Jeff Wickersham, founder of The Warrior Dad, a movement dedicated to helping dads level up in life, fatherhood, and marriage. Jeff’s insights, shaped by personal loss and a relentless drive to make a dent in the universe, are a wake-up call for every dad. With his two teenage boys, Jeff knows the stakes are high—and the time is short. By age 12, 75% of the time you’ll spend with your kids is gone; by 18, it’s 95%. So, how can you make every moment count? Let’s dive into Jeff’s story, his advice, and seven actionable steps to become the dad your kids deserve.
A Wake-Up Call: The Fragility of Life
Jeff’s journey began with a profound loss. Ten and a half years ago, he lost his mother to breast cancer. Watching her take her last breath was a “two-by-four smacked upside the head,” as he put it. It forced him to confront life’s fragility and ask: What kind of impact do I want to leave? In a poignant moment, his mother shared her fear of being forgotten, unknowingly passing a torch to Jeff to live with purpose. A fortune cookie he opened after her passing sealed the message: “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
This moment set Jeff on a path to transform his life. He left corporate America, opened a gym, and later founded The Warrior Dad to guide dads toward their potential. His story reminds us that life is fleeting, and the time to act is now. For dads, this means prioritizing family over fleeting distractions and building a legacy that lasts.
The Challenges Dads Face
Jeff identifies three major obstacles that hold dads back:
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Vices: From alcohol to porn, gambling, and social media, these “kryptonite dust” habits weaken your strength as a man, husband, and father. Jeff himself battled these in his 20s and 30s, numbing the pain of unfulfilled potential.
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Ego: The need to prove you’re “good enough” can close you off to growth. Jeff learned to embrace feedback and stay open to improvement, a shift that fueled his progress.
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Societal Beliefs: Myths like “teenagers don’t want to hang out with you” or “money doesn’t grow on trees” limit your mindset. Jeff defied these by playing Monopoly with his teens and pursuing financial creativity.
These challenges are universal, but Jeff’s approach—cutting vices, embracing humility, and rejecting limiting beliefs—offers a roadmap to overcome them.
Seizing the Seasons of Life
One of Jeff’s most striking insights is the limited time dads have with their kids. He shared a viral LinkedIn post about a moment with his youngest son, Carter, sitting on a football field bench, tears in their eyes, knowing it was their last game together. “Dads and moms need to know that your time is limited,” Jeff said. The statistics are sobering: by age 12, 75% of your time with your kids is gone; by 18, it’s 95%.
Yet, Jeff believes you can defy these numbers by being intentional. Instead of chasing a corporate ladder, he chose to stay home with his boys during March Madness, watching games together on three TVs. These “micro-moments” build bonds that last beyond the 18-year mark. For Jeff, it’s about answering every bid for attention from your kids, even when it’s tempting to scroll YouTube or check emails.
Seven Actionable Steps for Dads
Jeff’s advice is practical and actionable. Here are seven steps you can start today to level up as a dad, with examples to bring them to life:
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Cut One Vice
Vices like alcohol or excessive social media sap your energy and presence. Jeff gave up alcohol three and a half years ago after his wife’s truth bomb: “How are you going to teach health and wellness when you reek of alcohol?” That moment led him to quit, saving money and boosting his clarity. Action: Identify one vice (e.g., late-night scrolling) and commit to a 30-day break. Replace it with a positive habit, like reading to your kids. -
Bookend Your Day
Jeff controls his mornings and evenings to build momentum. For seven and a half years, he’s started each day with a glass of water, movement, and meditation, and ends with a restful routine. This discipline sets him up to “attack life.” Action: Tomorrow morning, drink a glass of water, do 10 push-ups, and try a 5-minute guided meditation using an app like Insight Timer. At night, avoid screens 30 minutes before bed. -
Be Present for Micro-Moments
Kids crave your attention, not your paycheck. Jeff emphasizes answering every bid for attention, like when his sons ask to play or talk. He recalls choosing family Monopoly nights over bar outings with buddies. Action: When your kid tugs on your leg, pause what you’re doing, get to their level, and engage for five minutes. Do this daily to build trust. -
Move Your Body
Fitness fights Father Time and boosts mood. Jeff, at 50, runs ultra-marathons and lifts with his sons, showing them he’s still the “head lion.” For sedentary dads, he suggests starting small. Action: Walk 10 minutes daily for a week, then increase to 15 minutes. Invite your kids to join you, turning it into family time. -
Lean Into Love
Jeff’s top advice for 2025 is to hug, kiss, and tell your kids you love them more. He shared a story of his oldest son calling him out for snapping at his wife, a proud moment showing the power of modeling love. Action: Every morning and night, give each child a hug and say, “I love you.” Make it a non-negotiable ritual. -
Explore Side Hustles
With inflation soaring, Jeff suggests monetizing your skills on platforms like Upwork or Fiverr. He also cut cable to save $1,500 yearly, redirecting funds to his family. Action: List three skills you have (e.g., writing, graphic design) and create a profile on a freelance platform. Aim to earn $100 this month. -
Model the Way
Kids learn by watching you. Jeff’s sons work out at 5:30 AM because he does. His daughter of a client stayed with a collapsed teacher while others ran, reflecting her dad’s leadership. Action: Identify one value (e.g., kindness) and model it daily, like holding doors or helping a neighbor, with your kids watching.
Raising Warriors and Poets
Jeff’s insights on raising kids are particularly powerful. For boys, he advocates raising “warriors and poets”—men who are action-oriented yet empathetic. His oldest son stood up for his wife when Jeff snapped, a testament to modeling respect. Jeff and his wife teach their boys to stick up for others, use manners, and show love, like hugging and saying “I love you” before leaving the house.
For girls, Jeff draws on coaching dads with daughters. He shared a story of a client’s daughter who stayed with a teacher in crisis, showing courage and compassion. Jeff believes kids, regardless of gender, thrive when dads lead authentically and prioritize presence over distractions like social media.
Jeff’s Vision and How to Connect
Jeff’s North Star is ambitious: to impact a million dads and elevate two million kids by 2053. He’s driven by a desire to counter society’s anger and polarization, starting in the home. His strategies—cutting vices, bookending the day, and leaning into love—have transformed families, with dads reporting renewed energy and connection.
You can find Jeff at www.thewarriordad.com, where he offers resources and his book, The Warrior Dad, a bestseller packed with strategies and personal stories. For a deeper dive, check out his 10-week Warrior Dad Experience, a coaching program that builds brotherhood and accountability. Follow him on LinkedIn for daily inspiration.
Conclusion: Lean Into Love and Act Now
Jeff Wickersham’s message is clear: time is short, but your impact as a dad can be profound. His diamond advice to his sons—control your attitude and effort—applies to every dad. You can’t control the chaos of life, but you can choose to show up, cut distractions, and love fiercely. Start with one step today—whether it’s a hug, a walk, or a vice you let go—and watch your family thrive. As Jeff says, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” What will you do to make your one life count?
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