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The Ryan Fields-Spack Blog

Being a Dad today is Tough! You are in the right place. This is your go to spot for dads to do more, make more, and win the day. 

Lenore Skenazy: Free-Range Kids Founder on Subway Story, Letting Go & Raising Independent Children

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Hey Brother,

Lenore Skenazy (Free-Range Kids/Let Grow founder) joins: Viral 2008 subway story (9-year-old pride moment), overprotection costs (worst-case thinking, drop-off/pick-up culture), underestimating kids/overestimating danger, Let Grow Experience (monthly independence homework), Play Clubs (mixed-age free play), exposure therapy for anxiety, and dads encouraging moms for collective action.

Moms: This shifts parenting—resilient, confident kids through safe independence.

Subway Story & Pride Moment

9-year-old Izzy rides NYC subway alone—bursts home proud, "grown-up kid." Sparked movement after column backlash.

Culture Shift: Supervision Burden

Arrival bell → dismissal vs drop-off/pick-up. Sight lines playgrounds. Assumption: Unsupervised = danger.

Reality vs Perception

Crime plunged since 90s. 50% parents think 10-year-olds at park likely kidnapped (off by 100x factor).

Let Grow Solutions

  • Experience: Monthly "do something new alone" homework (ideas list).
  • Play Clubs: Schools open after-hours, mixed ages, loose parts, adult lifeguard only.

Exposure & Growth

Independence = competence → confidence. Generalizes bravery. Pilot: Independence therapy reduces anxiety.

Dads Role

Rational/adventurous balance. Propose Play Clubs/Friendship Pacts. "They'll be fine."

Actionable Steps This Week

  1. Let Grow site: Download Experience/Play Club info.
  2. Small independence: Kid task alone (trash run, neighbor errand).
  3. Spouse talk: Collective play pact.
  4. No-phone park time: Drop-off tradition.
  5. Reality check: Share crime stats.

Brother, let go a little—watch kids step up. Pride changes everything.

Watch full embedded below—Lenore's insights inspire.

– Ryan

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