Doctors Said She Was Crazy. It Was Frontotemporal Dementia.
Aug 06, 2026
What Every Son Needs to Know When His Parent Starts Looping on the Same Fears
Hey Dad.
If your mom or dad keeps looping on the same fears — the power is about to get shut off, people are breaking into the house, the taxes aren’t paid and the house is going to be taken, or they swear they have no health insurance even though they do — and the doctors keep saying it’s just anxiety or depression…
Stop.
This might not be a mental health issue at all. This might be frontotemporal dementia (FTD).
I need to tell you what I wish someone had told me two years ago.
My name is Ryan. I’m a dad of three. This is the story of watching my mom, Tracy, get eaten alive by a disease most people have never even heard of.
The First Signs
It started on May 20, 2024. She texted me out of the blue saying she thought she was having a stroke. I drove her to St. Joseph’s Hospital in Denver. They ran the tests and said it was high anxiety.
Within days she was unplugging the internet and saying it was dead. Saying the power company was shutting her off. Saying people were breaking into her house. She even accused the man renting a room from her of killing a dog.
The Confusing Cascade
On May 28 she overdosed on sleeping pills and called the police on that tenant. They put her on a 72-hour hold. Then she spent 22 days at West Pines Behavioral Health. They said she was depressed and anxious. She paced the halls. She still believed the house had been broken into and her dog was gone.
We brought her home. She refused help. The perseverations got worse — unpaid medical bills, the house was going to be repossessed, the power was going to be cut off.
July 13 I found her nearly unconscious after another overdose. The emergency room treated her like just another suicide attempt. They barely let me see her. Back to West Pines.
The Turning Point
On July 22 we took her to a memory care evaluation. Nursing homes had already refused her because of the suicide risk in her chart. The memory care team looked at her and said, “This is frontotemporal dementia. It checks every box.”
That was the first time anyone named the real thing.
Frontotemporal dementia is ruthless. Unlike regular Alzheimer’s, many people with FTD still know where they are and what is happening to them. Their mind is eating itself from the inside while they remain aware of it. That combination is uniquely cruel for the person and for the family.
We moved her into Aspens Memory Care in Fort Collins on July 25. For a few days she seemed grateful. Then the new loops started. She insisted she didn’t have dementia. She hated the other residents. She wanted out.
Life in Memory Care
November 2024 she threatened suicide again. Another emergency room. Another 72-hour hold. She came back more depressed than before.
Then the irony of ironies: On December 29, 2024, someone actually broke into her empty house. The SWAT team had to remove him. They caused about $350,000 in damage. Her biggest fear came true.
By that point I had already stopped all her mail, shut down her email, closed her bank accounts, and locked her credit on all three bureaus. Anything that showed up in her hands set off a week of frantic texts.
I became her proxy (power of attorney) as fast as I could. I got every password and every login.
In May 2026 another resident pushed her. She fell, bruised her hip, then fell again and broke it. Full hip replacement. It shocked her system hard. New loops about the pain and not being able to walk lasted about six weeks.
She still knows what is happening to her. That is the cruelest part.
The Hard Truth
A few months ago my pastor, Brent Schroeder, casually mentioned in a sermon that his mom had the same disease. I went up to him after church. He went stone-faced. Then he told me in confidence that he had been furious at God — the angriest he had ever been. Not because she got sick, but because God did not take her home. Because the suffering just kept going.
That conversation hit me hard.
Dad, if you are sitting there wishing the suffering would just end… if you are mad at God for not taking her… you are not a bad son. You are not weak in your faith. You are human.
She had a good life. Now she is trapped in a body and a mind that are slowly shutting down while she still understands most of what is happening. That is a heavy weight. Talking to a pastor about it helped me. It might help you too.
What You Need to Do Right Now
If any of this sounds familiar, here is the practical playbook I wish I had from day one.
1. Document everything. Dates. Texts. Videos of the loops if you can get them safely. Write it down. This paperwork is what finally pushes past the “it’s just anxiety” label. Take it to a neurologist, not only a psychiatrist.
2. Get legal authority while they can still sign. Secure durable financial and healthcare power of attorney (or a doctor’s proxy if they can no longer sign). Get every password, every email login, every account. Freeze their credit on all three bureaus. Do this as early as possible — once insight is gone it becomes much harder.
3. Control the triggers. Stop the mail. Redirect or shut down email. Close or lock down bank accounts that spark loops. Any piece of paper or spam message can set off days or weeks of frantic perseveration. Protect their environment the same way you would protect a child from something that keeps reopening a wound.
4. Look at specialized memory care early. Regular nursing homes often will not take someone with this behavioral pattern, especially if there is any history of suicidal ideation. Specialized memory care is expensive, but it is usually the right setting. If there is a defined-benefit pension or long-term care benefit, lean on it hard.
5. Have the hard conversations. This includes a do-not-resuscitate order if it lines up with what your parent would have wanted. This disease is not kind. Knowing their wishes in advance removes one more crushing decision later.
6. Find people who actually get it. The Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration (AFTD) has a helpline: 866-507-7222. They have support groups specifically for adult children. You do not have to figure this out alone.
7. Protect yourself too. You are already carrying the roof over your head, supporting your wife, showing up for your kids, and working your job. Now you have this additional solitary burden. You will need rest, outside support, and permission to feel the full weight of it. Feeling the desire for their suffering to end does not make you less of a man. It makes you a son who cares.
You Are Not Alone
I am still walking this road. Some days are quieter. Most days the texts still come. I enjoy hearing from her. I know there is a lot of pain in her head when she sends them.
But I am not alone anymore. And neither are you.
If this is your story, drop a comment and tell me where you are in it. Or just say you’re here. We will figure the next steps out together.
Check on your parent while you still can.
God bless you, Dad.
— Ryan
Resource Association for Frontotemporal Degeneration (AFTD) Helpline: 866-507-7222 theaftd.org
This post is written for the sons and only children who are currently being told their parent is “just crazy.” You are not crazy for noticing something is deeply wrong. You are not alone in carrying it.