Reclaiming Your Energy: A Dad's Guide to Somatic Healing and Overcoming Trauma
Sep 25, 2025
Hey there, fellow dad. If you're like me—juggling work, family, and the constant pull of modern life—you know how easy it is to feel disconnected from yourself. Our bodies carry the weight of it all: the stresses from raising kids, the traumas we've buried, and the societal pressures telling us to "man up" and push through. I recently sat down with Mitch Webb, a somatic coach who's been through the wringer himself, from traumatic brain injuries to long-haul COVID. His story hit home for me as a father of three, especially when we talked about modeling emotional health for our kids. In this post, I'm sharing insights from that conversation, but I'm going deeper—diving into the science of somatic healing and giving you practical, actionable steps to start implementing it in your own life. This isn't just theory; it's about feeling at home in your body again, so you can show up stronger for your family.
As a dad, I've seen how my own unprocessed stuff affects my boys. My oldest, like me, bottles up his feelings, and it drives my wife nuts. Mitch nailed it: if we're not connected to our bodies and emotions, we're passing that disconnection down. But somatic healing offers a way out. It's not about endless talk therapy or quick fixes like popping a pill—it's about tuning into your body's wisdom to release what's stuck. Let's break it down, starting with Mitch's journey, then the science, and finally, those steps you can take today.
Mitch's Hero's Journey: From Chaos to Clarity
Mitch's story is a testament to resilience, and as a dad, it reminded me how our past traumas can sneak up on us if we don't address them. At 20, he suffered a traumatic brain injury (TBI) after falling two stories while studying abroad. That kicked off a cascade: autoimmune issues, panic attacks, insomnia, Lyme disease from a moldy house, heavy metal toxicity, and even getting T-boned by a dump truck. Then came long-haul COVID, dropping him to 145 pounds with debilitating fatigue and anxiety. He tried everything—keto, fasting, biohacking—but it was somatic work that turned the tide.
What struck me most was how Mitch traced it back to childhood. Not "big T" trauma like war, but the subtle stuff: walking on eggshells around narcissistic family dynamics, suppressing emotions to stay connected. Sound familiar? As dads, we often do the same—perform for our jobs, our spouses, our kids—without realizing it's draining our energy. Mitch's breakthrough came from books like The Body Keeps the Score and a men's group that called him out. Through somatic healing, he reconnected with his body, released stored trauma, and met the "real me" underneath. No kids yet for Mitch, but he applies this in his marriage, modeling regulation so his wife feels safe. Imagine doing that for your family—staying calm amid the chaos, teaching your kids it's okay to feel.
The Science Behind Somatic Healing: Why Your Body Holds the Key
Somatic healing isn't woo-woo; it's grounded in neuroscience and biology. At its core, it's about addressing trauma where it lives—in the body. Traditional therapy often focuses top-down (from the mind), like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which helps reframe thoughts. But somatic approaches work bottom-up, starting with bodily sensations to rewire the nervous system. This is crucial because trauma disrupts our autonomic nervous system (ANS), the part that controls fight-flight-freeze responses without us thinking about it.
One key framework is Somatic Experiencing (SE), developed by Dr. Peter Levine in the 1970s. Levine observed how wild animals shake off trauma after a threat—literally trembling to discharge pent-up energy—without developing PTSD. Humans, though, often override this natural process due to social conditioning or overwhelm, trapping that energy in the body. SE uses "titration" (small, manageable doses) and "pendulation" (shifting between discomfort and safety) to gently release it. Studies show SE reduces post-traumatic symptoms by improving interoceptive awareness (sensing internal body states) and proprioception (body position in space), leading to better emotional regulation.
Tying into this is Polyvagal Theory, created by Dr. Stephen Porges. It explains the vagus nerve's role—a bidirectional highway connecting the brain to the heart, gut, and face. The theory outlines three states of the ANS:
- Ventral Vagal (Safe and Social): This is your "rest and digest" mode, where you feel connected, creative, and calm. Facial expressions soften, heart rate variability increases, and you can engage with others.
- Sympathetic (Fight or Flight): Mobilization for action—heart races, adrenaline surges. Useful for short threats, but chronic activation leads to anxiety, irritability, or burnout.
- Dorsal Vagal (Freeze or Shutdown): The oldest response, like playing dead. It conserves energy but can cause dissociation, depression, or fatigue if stuck.
Polyvagal Theory shows how trauma "retunes" the vagus nerve, making it harder to access safety cues. For dads, think social media rage or road rage—that's sympathetic overdrive. SE integrates Polyvagal by helping you notice and shift these states through body awareness, rebuilding "neuroception" (subconscious safety detection).
Emerging research backs this up. A 2018 study found SE improves ANS resilience in trauma survivors, reducing hyperarousal. Another review highlights how somatic therapies enhance mind-body connection, aiding conditions like chronic pain, anxiety, and even long COVID—echoing Mitch's recovery. It's not fully mainstream yet, but evidence is growing, especially for those where talk therapy falls short.
As a dad, this science clicked for me. Our bodies aren't just vessels; they're archives of every stress, from childhood misattunement to today's headlines. By healing somatically, we reclaim energy, trust our instincts, and break cycles for our kids.
Actionable Tips: Start Somatic Healing in Your Daily Life
The beauty of somatic healing? You don't need a therapist to begin—though working with one like Mitch is ideal for deep work. Start slow; build capacity so you don't overwhelm your system. Here are specific, dad-friendly steps, drawn from SE and Polyvagal practices. Aim for 5-10 minutes daily, maybe during your commute or before bed.
- Grounding Exercise: Feel Your Feet on the Earth Stand or sit with bare feet on the ground (or imagine it if you're in shoes). Notice the sensations: pressure, temperature, texture. Wiggle your toes, shift weight side to side. This activates proprioception, pulling you out of headspace into body safety. Do it when stressed—say, after a tough day at work. It signals "I'm here, now, safe." Polyvagal bonus: It engages the ventral vagal state, calming your heart rate.
- Body Scan for Tension Release Lie down or sit comfortably. Start at your toes, slowly scan up to your head, noticing sensations without judgment—tightness, warmth, tingling? If you find tension (e.g., jaw clenching from kid tantrums), breathe into it gently. Exhale and imagine releasing it. This builds interoceptive awareness, key to spotting trauma triggers early. Do it nightly; it'll help you sleep better by discharging dorsal vagal shutdown.
- Pendulation: Shift Between Discomfort and Ease Recall a mild stressor (not full trauma)—maybe anxiety about finances. Notice where it lives in your body (chest tightness?). Now, shift attention to a neutral or pleasant spot (hands feeling relaxed). Pendulate back and forth, titrating the intensity. This teaches your nervous system it's safe to approach discomfort without flooding. As a dad, use it during arguments: Notice the sympathetic surge, then ground in your breath to return to ventral calm.
- Vagus Nerve Toner: Humming or Gargling Hum a low tune or gargle water for 1-2 minutes. This stimulates the vagus nerve, boosting parasympathetic tone and heart rate variability. It's quick—do it in the shower. Research shows it reduces sympathetic overdrive, easing anxiety. Pair with deep belly breaths: Inhale for 4, hold 4, exhale 6.
- Movement Discharge: Shake It Out Like animals, shake your limbs gently for 30-60 seconds—arms, legs, whole body if private. This releases trapped energy from freeze responses. Follow with slow walking, feeling each step. Ideal after a long day; it prevents buildup leading to insomnia or irritability.
Track progress in a journal: Note sensations before/after. If symptoms intensify, seek a pro—Mitch's site (mitchwebb.com) or SE International are great starts.
Why This Matters for Dads Like Us
Dad, you're the role model. If we're disconnected, our kids learn to suppress too. Somatic healing lets you show up present—calm during meltdowns, emotionally available. It counters toxic masculinity peddled online, fostering sacred masculine: safe, intuitive, loving. In our chaotic world, it's your secret weapon.
Wrapping Up: Your Body, Your Ally
Mitch's wisdom and this science have shifted how I parent and live. Dad, start small—your body knows the way. Reclaim that energy; feel at home in yourself. You've got this.
References:
- Harvard Health - What is somatic therapy?
- Somatic experiencing – effectiveness and key factors...
- Effect of Somatic Experiencing Resiliency-Based...
- Is Somatic Therapy Evidence-Based?
- Somatic Therapy Science 2025...
- What is the Polyvagal Theory?
- Somatic Experiencing, Polyvagal Theory And Trauma
- Using Polyvagal Theory in Clinical Settings
- SE 101 - Somatic Experiencing® International
- Somatic Exercises for Mental Health
- Somatic Experiencing Therapy: 10 Best Exercises...
- 12 Effective Somatic Therapy Exercises...
- Somatic Self Care
- Somatic Therapy Exercises at Home...
- The Complete Guide For Using Somatic therapy...
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
- Mitch Webb's Website: https://mitchwebb.com/
- Rude Conversations Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@KMitchWebb
Watch our full Discussion HERE👇🏻